11 Epic Self-Connection Tips (how to look within yourself)
Deep down, without the masks or societal expectations, who are you?
Knowing yourself is point A to whatever vision you have or life you want. To truly know “this is for me” is everything. And in a world that’s constantly telling us who we should be, to know who you are and stick to it is almost punk.
But it’s a journey.
Shiny objects, self doubt, unknown paths, ups and downs…all normal and part of the process.
If you truly wish to embark on this one, I must advise you become a true adventurer. A backpacker with curiosity and a loose itinerary.
I’m a multi-brained artist-musician-blogger-creator. Dialing in on the polyhedron self has taken me 30 something years.
This is what I learned.
Table of Contents
What Is Self Connection?
Self connection is getting to know yourself and the art of alignment. It’s knowing who you are and then aligning yourself to your innate desires, what motivates you, your values, abilities and preferred life.
Benefits of Looking Within
Self awareness
Better decision making
Do more of what makes you happy
Learn your strengths and weaknesses
Improve your EQ skills
Get better at intuitive thinking
Improve perspective-taking
Become more confident
Understand your beliefs and habits better
Become more authentic
Feel more in control
How to Look Within (11 epic self awareness tips)
“Introspection is a skill. You can get better at it.”
1. Where’s Your Envy?
There’s a Kurt Cobain quote I often think, “Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.”
Looking within is hell of a lot easier when you’re not trying to be someone else. And this is hard.
Our network radius is now global, and most of what we see is cherry-picked highlights of a perfect pretty talented ideal.
When I’m trying to get to know myself, I like to declutter this noise. Step away and forget the influence of people I’ve never met and have nothing to do with my path.
Before looking within, first identify the accounts, platforms, etcetera that make you feel bad, behind or envious.
Then, think about why they make you feel negative.
For example, maybe it’s because you know deep down you could be doing the same thing, maybe even better. But you’re stuck where you are with little recognition or “success.”
Knowing what irks you and why is hard, but enlightening and advanced self awareness.
2. Meditate, Listen for a ‘Voice’
Meditation isn’t about quieting the mind. It’s about observing it, without reaction.
If you’re new, it might take a minute to feel the full impact. But stick with it, it’s worth it.
For self connection, I like to meditate with the intention of listening. Listening for that small inner voice we all have.
You’ll know it when you hear it.
It’s that part of you that knows deep down whether something is right for you or not.
It gets buried in this flashy noisy world with endless opportunities. But if you can quiet the mind for a bit and reflect on what you really want—who you really are—there’s an inner knowing giving you hints.
Check out my approach to meditation for creativity and clarity.
3. Write About It
Writing has taught me so much more about myself. Much more than the thinking brain alone. Writing is like your mind’s transcriptionist, putting everything on record.
Whether you’re journaling or blogging or scribbling notes in an app, try using writing as an inner exploration tool.
But don’t write so much about inner “who am I?” work. Nay, that’s too obvious. Instead, write about whatever comes to mind. Whatever you’re passionate about. Whatever’s happening in your life and how that’s making you feel.
Then, look back and audit the patterns. Look for themes.
Your true self (values, goals, personality, etc) is hiding between the lines and spaces and misspelled words.
4. Be (human) Creative
If talking things out isn’t your speed, then getting creative may be what you need.
This is my jam.
Creativity is cathartic and takes vulnerable, authentic self expression. And no, you don’t need to be “good” or artistic. If you’re human, you can create something.
Here are some creative outlets to try:
Intuitive writing
Create graphics in Canva
Make a vision board
Scrapbooking
DIY projects
Whatever creative outlet you try, just don’t judge yourself about it. And stay aware of what you choose, what you like and what comes out.
Remember, the point isn’t to hang your project on a gallery wall (although, you totally can, love that). It’s to get to know yourself better.
Explore more:
➤ How to Be More Creative
5. Walk It Out
Take a stroll. Clear your mind. Walking induces relaxation and self reflection.
And double points if it’s in nature.
Hear the nature sounds, or throw on headphones. Let your mind wander and pay attention to the thoughts.
Sometimes, epiphanies and aha! moments show up. Other times, you reset your energy and just feel calm. From there, you can think about the big question with lighter shoulders: who am I?
6. Practice Intuition Exercises
Intuition exercises help you connect with yourself more deeply, like little training sessions to strengthen your intuition core.
And stronger intuition makes looking within that much easier.
Here are a few exercises to try:
Visualization
Body scanning
Dream journaling
Social detoxing
7. Take A (free) Test
Who doesn’t love a good self-reflection test?
I mean, reading about yourself is always fun. But they’re also great for digging deeper and looking within.
Especially if your result shocks you or makes you feel a certain way.
You’ve probably taken a personality quiz before. But here are a couple of my favorite free tests to try:
8. Push Your Comfort Zones
Comfort zones are hints about yourself.
So another way to find clarity is to push past where you feel most comfortable in your life.
For example, travel more, sing on stage, go out to eat alone.
The more you practice discomfort, the more aware you become of yourself.
Here are some quick tips:
Embrace awkwardness, love your quirks
Define your current comfort zones
Push beyond slowly
Be a beginner
Explore more:
➤ Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
9. Design Your Dream Life
Image your picture-perfect ideal life. What’s it look like?
Designing your dream life is fun and reveals insights about yourself.
Sometimes, we’re afraid to ask for what we truly want. So forget what’s “realistic” or “allowed” for you. Imagine you had a superpower, that anything you imagine comes true (some might call this manifestation or reality creation, skills anyone can learn).
What would you create?
Dial in on specific details. What do you see, smell, hear?
This is a great way to discover what you really want. If you find yourself saying “Ah, that’s not possible…”, ignore it. Everything is possible.
Here are some quick tips:
Emotionally connect with that future life
Get super detailed, smells, sights, sounds, etcetera
Practice visualization daily
Start living as if it’s already happened
10. Create An Alter Ego
Who is your current persona? Do they align with who you really want to be?
Creating an alter ego is a creative way to uncover fears, discover goals and realize interests or things that resonate with you.
It’s also popular for artists and musicians who want to embody a more “ideal”, confident or secret version of themselves.
To create an avatar, it requires some self reflection. So consider these questions:
Who would you be if you could be anyone?
Why do you want to embody this different persona?
Where are the biggest gaps between your alter ego and you?
What rings the most true and authentically you?
11. Stay Patient
Connecting with yourself and understanding who you really are isn’t always easy or quick. Plus, things frequently change.
As they say, the only constant is change.
So stay patient, self reflect often and expect things to evolve. This creates a healthier, longer-term, sustainable mindset.
And try not to get mad at yourself if you’re not finding all the answers straight away (or seem to be changing your mind too often).
It’s all part of the process.
Who I was three ago is totally different from who I am today.
And I assume this statement will ring true in another three years.
Later ✌️
Self connection is getting to know yourself truly.
We all have an authentic self and tapping into that version of ourselves can take me self reflection and intention.
My favorite ways to improve my self awareness are through creativity, intuition practice and designing my dream life. But whatever you decide to do, just remember to stay patient and love the process.
Self awareness is a journey and we’re always evolving. So don’t get discouraged if things aren’t clear straight away.
Still, anything is better than nothing.
Want More? Nice. Here’s More.
A reminder for musical confidence…